Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize