I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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