You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I think a kid would responsible me up
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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