I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
