What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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