the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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