somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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