Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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