After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
