The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Randomize
