Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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