So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
