I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
tell me about the fingering
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