This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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