Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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