The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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