Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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