Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
