It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Randomize
