You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Randomize