He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
