I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize