hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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