she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Randomize
