If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
she peed on how many people?
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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