it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Randomize
