Ambien. No doubt about it.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Is Oprah even human
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
