you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize