I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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