remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize