We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
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