I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
