im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
you mean i was at the winter classic?
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize