i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
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