kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize