I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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