i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
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