Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
