No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize