all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
