ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
