After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
