Are we in a gay sports bar?
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
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