I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
We have so much sex to catch up on
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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