You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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