I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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