Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
We're like a lot better than the average bears
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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