i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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