This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Randomize
