so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
