WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Randomize
