But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
