He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
