**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
