Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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