Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Randomize
