new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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