don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
