You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
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