ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
