I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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