It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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