You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
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