We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I don't think brook has ever known best
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
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