I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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