Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
