Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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