Me. At least after what I've been through.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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