So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
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