Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
