i barfeds in our rink
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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