Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
