My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize