Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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