let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
