Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I'm always down for nudity.
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