My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
