forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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