when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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