Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
